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Chapter Twelve
Sev's Problem

The Christmas holidays seemed to pass in a blur of pranks, presents and research.  Harry even found some spare time to catch up with the book he was writing.  He had managed to get behind with it after the battle, and he used any chance he got to work on it.  Hermione and Ginny were the same, leaving Ron to make plans with the Marauders for various pranks they were planning to play on the teachers.  However, all too soon, the Hogwarts Express was pulling into Hogsmeade station, and the three non-Gryffindors had to move back to their own Houses.

His first night back in the Slytherin dungeons, Harry couldn't sleep.  By two o'clock he'd had enough, and got up.  Maybe I could read for a while in the common room, he thought, if I can't sleep I may as well be learning something.  However, once he reached the common room, he stopped short, for a small hunched figure was already sitting by the fire.

“ Sev?  What are you doing still up?”

The dark haired boy jumped, and whirled around, taking in Harry on the stairs.

“ I could say the same to you.”

“ I couldn't sleep, what's your excuse?”

“ Same.”

Harry noticed his friend absent mindedly rubbing the inside of him forearm.  I know what this is about, Harry thought.

“ Sev, I can see something's bothering you.  You know you can tell me anything, I won't let it go any further.”

Severus looked up at his friend sitting opposite him.  He knew he could tell Harry anything, or almost anything…

“ I can't.  This isn't something a Light Wizard would understand.”

“ Whoever said I was a Light Wizard?”

The younger boy looked at his friend in shock.  He wasn't quite sure what to say to that.  He knew what his friend was implying, but didn't think it could be true.

“ But…but…you can't be a Dark Wizard!”

“ Why not?”

“ You fight You-Know-Who every chance you get.  You hate all Death Eaters and everything they stand for.  And you're not evil!”

Harry heaved a great sigh.  So this is what this is all about, he thought, I'll have to do some explaining I think, but how to go about it?

“ Sev, what defines a Dark Wizard?”

“ What do you mean,” he asked, puzzled by the seemingly random question.

“ I just want you to give me a definition.  Tell me the characteristics of a Dark Wizard.”

“ Um…well, they're evil, they use Dark Magic to harm and kill others, and they follow You-Know-Who.”

“ There now, you see?  You're completely wrong.”

Severus looked at Harry in astonishment.  

“ But…that's what my father told me…”

“ And I'm telling you different.  Satanus Snape doesn't know as much as he likes to think he does.  By definition, a Light Wizard is someone who uses predominantly Light Magic, resorting to Dark Magic only, for instance, in the heat of a battle to the death.  Professor Dumbledore is a good example of this.  A Dark Wizard is someone who uses both Light and Dark Magic in their everyday lives.  What you have to remember, is that Dark and Light are simply terms for the same thing.  It is all magic, and can all be used to harm in some way.  A simple levitation charm can be fatal if someone is floated out of the Astronomy Tower and dropped.  Dark Magic is not evil, it is the intent to harm that is evil.  I, by definition, am a Dark Wizard.  I know more Dark Magic than even Voldemort, but that doesn't make me evil.”

“ Well, I've never heard it put that way before,” the bewildered teen replied.

“ Sev, I was once told by Voldemort himself that there is no good and evil, only power, and those too weak to seek it.  This is completely false.  There is good and evil, and the key to it all is intent.  There are some things I would like to change about the wizarding world, but that doesn't mean torturing Muggles is the answer.  Voldemort is evil because he chooses to harm; I am not, because I choose to help.  Do you understand?”

Severus could just nod.  Then something Harry had said came back to him.

“ When did you meet You-Know-Who?  I mean, I know you've been in battles with him, but that doesn't exactly leave you much time for chatting.”

Harry sighed, frantically trying to think of something to say.  He couldn't tell him too much, as it might change the future.

“ He tried to recruit me once.  That was the line he used to try and win me over.  It didn't work and I turned him down.”

“ And he let you go?!”

“ No, I escaped.  He wasn't very happy about it, I can tell you.”

“ I'm not surprised!”

“ Now, I want you to tell me what's bothering you.”

“ I can't, I'm evil, and you're good, so I just can't.”

By this time Sev's mask of indifference had completely dropped.  Harry was surprised to see so much emotion from the young man.

“ Sev, you are not evil, no matter what you say.  I won't do anything to you.  You're my friend, and I don't betray my friends.  Now, tell me.”

The young potions master looked at Harry.  Seeing the sincerity in his eyes, he lifted up his sleeve, showing a recently burned in Dark Mark.  Looking up, he was surprised to see that instead of being horrified and disgusted, Harry looked accepting.

“ I thought it might be something like this.  Was it your choice?”

“ No.  My father made me.  I don't want to hurt people, despite what people think.  But my father's been a Death Eater from the start, and he wasn't going to let me not be.”

At this point silent tears had started to make their way down his face.  Harry had never seen Severus Snape look so vulnerable.

“ Sev, I can help you if you like.  Do you honestly want to help save people?”

“ Of course, I'd do anything.  If what you say is true, then I'm not evil!  I want to stop You-Know-Who!”

“ Well, for starters, stop calling him You-Know-Who.  His name is Voldemort.  Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.  If you really don't want to say Voldemort, call him something else.  At least give him a name!  Call him Shirley for all I care.”

“ You want me to call the Dark Lord Shirley?!” Sev asked in awe.

“ Sure, why not.  Not to his face, obviously, but in private.  It might make you less scared of him.  Now, I have a proposition for you.  You do realise that if you try to leave the Death Eaters, Shirley will kill you?”

Sev couldn't help but let out a snort of laughter at how that sounded.

“ Yes, I understand that.”

“ Would you be willing to be a spy for Professor Dumbledore?”

“ I never thought of that.  It would be a good solution.  I could help people, and not be killed by You-…Shirley.”

“ Will you do it?”

“ Yes.”

“ Good, then I have something for you.”

“ You do?”

“ Call it a late Christmas present.”

Harry ran back to his dorm room and rummaged through his trunk.  Eventually, he found what he was looking for stashed right in the corner.  Taking it out, he made his way back to the common room.  Walking up to his friend, he took his gift and attached it around his neck.  Severus, surprised, looked down at the faintly glowing crystal.

“ Harry, you have one of these.  Why are you giving me a necklace?”

“ Sev, do you trust me?”

“ Of course.”

“ CRUCIO!”

Sev started when Harry threw the Cruciatus curse at him.  Knowing from his initiation that the curse brought great pain, he flinched and waited for it to hit.  He was astonished when all he could feel was a slight tickle.  Looking up, he was surprised to see Harry smiling as he lifted the curse.

“ Did you just cast the Cruciatus curse on me?”

“ Yep!”

“ But it didn't hurt!”

“ That's the point.  The necklace I gave you is an immunity necklace.  It protects you from all three Unforgivables.   It's the same as mine, and can only be taken off by the person who put it on.  This is why I put it on you.  If Shirley notices it and wants you to take it off, you won't be able to.  I thought it would be a good thing for you to have, considering how often Shirley tortures his followers.  Just remember, when he throws the curse at you, act like you're in pain, otherwise he'll get suspicious.”

“ Thank you, Harry.  I didn't know anything like this existed…”

“ There are only five left in the world, and we have two of them.  You can't tell anyone, not even Dumbledore.  Speaking of which, I want you to come to his office now, so we can sort this out.”

Severus just nodded, and the pair left the common room, heading to the headmaster's office.

*~*~*

When they reached the stone gargoyle guarding Dumbledore's office, Harry stood there trying to guess the password.  After a few minutes of listing various sweets and biscuits, he looked over to his friend, only to find him looking back at him, bewildered.

“ Harry, why are you listing the entire stock of Honeydukes?”

“ Dumbledore's passwords are always sweets.  I just have to work through until I get the right one.  You could help, you know.  Might make it a bit quicker.”

A few minutes later, after a combined effort, the gargoyle leapt to one side and the two students made their way up to the headmaster's office.  Knocking on the door they waited to be asked in, before sitting in front of the enormous desk.  Dumbledore looked back at them, eyes twinkling madly.

“ Harry, Severus, to what do I owe this pleasure?  Lemon Drop?”

“ No thank you, sir.  We just came here because Sev has something he would like to discuss with you.”

“ Of course!  What is it you would like to tell me?”

Sev looked over at Harry for reassurance.  When his friend gave him an encouraging nod, he turned back to the headmaster and took a deep breath.

“ Professor Dumbledore, Harry has convinced me to talk to you about a serious matter that occurred over the Christmas holidays.”

He faltered slightly, unsure how to continue.  Dumbledore picked up the conversation.

“ It's alright, Severus.  I'm here to listen, not to judge.”

At this, Harry couldn't help but let out a snort of amusement.  Dumbledore gave him an inquisitive look.

“ Something the matter, Harry?”

“ Sorry, sir.  Just thinking back to our conversation after…after Percy died.  If that wasn't judgmental, I don't know what is.”

“ Harry, you know I'm sorry about that.  Now, I believe young Severus came here to tell me something, and you're not letting him get a word in edgeways.

“ Sorry.  Go ahead Sev, I'll explain what that was about later.”

“ Well, I think it might be easier if I show you, Headmaster.”

“ If that's what you feel is best, by all means go ahead.”

In response, Sev did exactly what he had done with Harry.  He pulled up his sleeve and exposed the Dark Mark burned into the soft flesh of his left forearm.  Dumbledore let out a small gasp, before turning sad eyes to the fifth year sitting before him.

“ Would you care to explain, Mr. Snape?”

At this point, Sev just let go of all the feelings that had been building up over the Christmas holidays.  As he sobbed out his story, Harry put a comforting arm around his shoulders and pulled him into a brotherly hug.  When Sev had finished, Harry thought it best to outline his plans.

“ Professor, I want him to join the Order.”

“ Are you sure that is wise, Harry?”

“ Yes, I am.  Sev never wanted this, but what's done is done.  We cannot change the past, although by Merlin I wish that wasn't true.  I know what it's like to want to make past pain go away, but from what I've learned recently, you can either wallow in self pity, or make the best of a bad situation.  Sev was forced into taking the Dark Mark by his father.  He never asked to join the Death Eaters.  He doesn't want to serve the Evil Bastard, but there is nothing he can do to change it.  However, I have given him a better offer.  The lesser of two evils, if you will.  I have asked him to be your spy in Voldemort's ranks.  He can gather useful information about the Dark Lord's plans and give it to the Order.  If he is forced to perform atrocities in the name of Voldemort, then let him make up for it by saving lives.  You know as well as I do how much the Order could do to help people if only we knew when the attacks would be happening.  It could work, and I'm sure it would be the best thing for Sev.  I'm asking you, Headmaster.  No, I'm begging you.  Let him join.  Please.”

Dumbledore considered Harry's words before nodding slowly.

“ If you trust him, Harry, then I will do the same.  It's your call, but you can perform the formalities.”

Harry nodded in gratitude, before turning to a now calmer but rather bewildered Severus.

“ Sev, what I would like to ask you is if you would be willing to join the Order of the Phoenix.  It's a secret organisation led by Professor Dumbledore that opposes Voldemort.  We would ask you to be our spy in his ranks, a role that would allow you to redeem yourself for all the acts you will be forced to perform in him name.  Do you accept?”

“ I do,” Sev said without hesitation.

“ Good.”

~Fawkes, could you perform the honours?~ Harry asked the phoenix in the corner.  Fawkes let out a trill of phoenix song before flying to land heavily on Sev's shoulder.  After a moment, he began to sing strongly while Harry performed the secrecy spells used on all Order members.  He then linked the Dark Mark on Sev's arm to the Order marks.

“ Sev, what I've done is placed secrecy spells on you, so that you can't tell our secrets, even under the influence of veritaserum.  The Order also has its own calling device, which is actually a modified version of the Dark Mark.  We each have a tattoo or birthmark, or some such thing, which is connected to the Order leader.  This is how you are called to meetings.  Unlike Shirley's mark, it doesn't hurt, it merely tingles, and they are all different so Order members can not be easily identified.  I've used your Dark Mark as the basis for this, to prevent you having any suspicious new markings.  Just remember, if it hurts, Shirley's calling, and if it tingles, Professor Dumbledore's calling.  Alright?”

“ Yeah.”

“ Good.”

“ May I ask who Shirley is?” Dumbledore said, his eyes twinkling madly.  Harry blushed.

“ That's what I have Sev calling old Voldie.  I told him that fear of a name increased fear of the thing itself.  I thought if he wouldn't say `Voldemort', the least he could do was call him by a different name, if only to name him.  So we came up with Shirley.  I figured it would make it easier for him to handle the Death Eater meetings.”

“ That makes sense, Harry.  I like it.”

Harry smiled and turned back to his friend.

“ Well, Sev.  Welcome to the Order of the Phoenix.”

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