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Chapter Seven
Marauder Mischief

The Marauders never forgot what Harry and Severus did to James and the quidditch team the day of the tryouts.  Although they were still friendly with Harry, they were secretly plotting a series of pranks aiming to get their own back for the humiliation of the vacuum cleaner incident.  Harry had noticed that they were up to something, and knowing what the Marauders were like, he rightly assumed they were coming up with pranks.  He spent a good portion of every evening coming up with counter strategies and defences against anything they might try.  He had heard a great many stories from Sirius' letters over the summer before the amulet had taken them away about the sorts of pranks he used to get up to at school, so Harry knew more or less what to expect.  Every evening, while Sev was trying to perfect his meditation for the animagus viewing spell, he would sit in the corner at his desk and plot.  Having experience at detailed planning from the early days of the Order of the Phoenix, he came up with foolproof plans and embarrassing pranks that he couldn't wait to try out.  Some evenings, Sev would even stay with him late into the night, giving a truly Slytherin perspective.  Although Harry had been in the serpent's House for several weeks, he had still not fully developed his Slytherin cunning.

The first move came in the second week of October, when Harry went down to breakfast and found himself unable to speak.  Every time he opened his mouth to speak to Sev, a loud lion's roar would come out.  Sev was similarly afflicted, much to the amusement of the rest of the students, even their fellow Slytherins.  Neither boy was popular in their own House, especially after Harry's humiliation of Lucius at the quidditch tryouts.  

Revenge came the following day when the Marauders sat at the Gryffindor table.  As soon at they touched their forks, a torrent of what could only be described as goo fell from the ceiling, covering them from head to toe.  Leaping to their feet, they were further abused when hundreds of rotten rose petals rained onto them, sticking to the substance on their skin, which hardened after a few minutes.  None of the teachers could remove the stuff, so the petal-covered students had to attend lessons as they were, smelling of rotten roses.

At dinner the following night, the four Marauders and Lily came striding over to the Slytherin table and headed straight for Sev and Harry.  The pair stopped mid sentence when they spotted the advancing Gryffindors and turned to watch them as they came to rest opposite the two Slytherins.

“ This means war,” James stated.

“ We are the kings of pranks here, and you are threatening our title,” Sirius added.

“ We have come to propose a competition, a battle of the pranksters if you will,” Remus concluded.

Harry and Sev shared a look, before Harry clearly signaled to leave the talking to him.  Turning to the Gryffindors, he prepared to set the conditions.

“ What are the rules?”

“ The Marauders against you two.  A prank war to end all prank wars.  A competition of skill, cunning and devilishness,” James stated.

“ We'll accept on several conditions.”

“ What are they?” Sirius asked.

“ We want to be equally matched.  I propose five people in each team, to make it fair.  We will announce who those are before we start.  No pranks to be played on people individually, for example, you can't corner one person, you have to prank the whole team.  Nothing dangerous, or permanent.  And we need someone to judge.”

“ The students can decide, on Hallow'een.  We will continue until October 31st, and at the feast the students can decide who wins,” Remus suggested.

“ Agreed.  Who will be in your team?”

“ There'll be me,” James started, “ Sirius, Remus, Peter and Lily.  What about you?”

“ There'll be me and Sev, obviously.  Just a sec.”

Harry closed his eyes and sent a quick mental message to three other people.

~Ron, `Tea, Peeves?  You interested in a prank war with the Marauders?~

~Sure~

~Count me in~

~Ok~

Opening his eyes, he looked at the confused looking Marauders and the thoughtful looking Lily.  

“ Well, I have my team.  Me, Sev, Ron, Peeves and Gallatea.”

“ Gallatea?” Lily asked.

“ Gallatea Ravenclaw.”

“ Who's she?” Sirius questioned.

~`Tea?  Come here~

~Sure Harry~

A moment later the Grey Lady came floating over to the Slytherin table and waved to Harry.

“ Hi, Harry, what's up?”

“ Just wanted to introduce you to the Marauders, the ones we will be having the prank war with.  Everyone, this is Gallatea Ravenclaw.”

The Marauders, Lily and Sev gawped at the ghost, who gave them all a shy smile.  Lily suddenly latched on to something.

“ She knew about the prank war.  We just suggested it, but she knew, and she wasn't here.  How did she know?”

“ I told her.”

“ How?”

~I have my ways~

Lily jumped, startling the others a little.  Her eyes widened as she looked at the boy opposite her.

“ You're a telepath,” she breathed in awe.  The other five looked at Harry in astonishment and respect.

“ You never told me,” Sev stated.

“ I never saw the need.  Now you know.  Don't spread it around, or I'll get angry.  And you've seen me angry.”

The others all thought back to Harry's clashes with Lucius Malfoy and shuddered at being on the receiving end of his wrath.  Sirius then thought of two points that he thought were worth mentioning.

“ Wait a minute, how are you going to get Peeves to agree?  He never listens to students.  And how are we supposed to prank your whole team if two of them are ghosts?”

“ Peeves has already agreed, being a friend of `Tea's, and you only have to prank the living members of our team.  I'm not completely unreasonable.”

“ Very well.  Do we have a deal?” Remus asked.

“ We have a deal.  May the best team win.”

*~*~*

Later that evening, Harry called a meeting of his fellow teammates in his room to discuss strategies.  When Sev arrived that evening for his lessons, Harry had told him they were meeting the others.  He was a little apprehensive at first about meeting with a Gryffindor, a poltergeist and the daughter of a founder.  As these thoughts sped through his head, something suddenly hit him.

“ Harry?”

“ Yeah?”

“ The Grey Lady…is she the one mentioned on the stone in the quidditch pitch?”

“ Yes, she is.”

“ Can I ask her about Potter's ancestor?”

“ Please, don't.  It's rather a touchy subject.  She was in love with him, and he had to leave her, breaking her heart.  It upsets her when she has to talk about it, so if you want her help, I suggest you don't mention it.”

“ Ok.  How do you know so much about these things, Harry?  I mean, if you've only been at Hogwarts for a little over a month, you won't have had time to learn these things.”

“ Trust me, Sev, there are secrets I really want to share with you, but I can't.  It could be dangerous.”

“ Are you some sort of secret agent?  An assassin of sorts?”

“ In a manner of speaking.  I don't have to teach you what I am, but I want to because you're my friend.  In return, all I want is that you don't pry when I say I can't tell you things.”

“ I know, Harry.  I just wish you could trust me, that's all.”

“ I do trust you, but a lot of the time these things are bigger than you and me.  Too many lives are at stake, and I have no right to risk them.”

“ I understand.  So, where will this meeting be?”

“ In a place that no-one can eavesdrop on us,” Harry said, before placing his hand on the nearest wall and creating a door.  Sev watched in wonder as he was ushered through it, and they took their places in the armchairs on the far side.  Sev looked around in amazement at the collection of rare books until the other three turned up.  Once everyone was seated, Harry pulled out his plans and set them on a large table.

“ Thank you all for coming.  Now, as I've mentioned, the Marauders have declared war on us, and we have until Hallow'een to prove we are the better pranksters.  I have chosen you all because we represent all four Houses, giving us a wider range of ideas and capabilities.  This will be the Marauders' downfall.  They are all rash and impulsive, if stupidly brave, Gryffindors.  In our team, we have Ron, a Gryffindor who can provide good ideas and inside information on the Marauders' tactics.  He can also bring us some of the Gryffindor impulsiveness.  We have Gallatea, a Ravenclaw through and through, who is a good tactician and has the brains and knowledge to come up with foolproof pranks.  We have Sev, the Slytherin, who will provide cunning and sneakiness.  And lastly, we have Peeves, a Hufflepuff with nearly a thousand years of experience at pranking people.  We have an unbeatable team, and never forget that.  Now, let's get to work.”

*~*~*

The morning of the 16th October dawned and the Hogwarts students headed down to breakfast without a care in the world.  As Harry and Ron headed for their tables, they performed several powerful wandless counter charms, getting rid of any enchantments they may fall pray to.  They could tell their spells were eliminating something the Marauders had set up, but they weren't sure what.  The night before they had agreed to start on a high, so they had planned their greatest prank for that morning.  When the Marauders and Lily entered the room, they looked at the other three in confusion, obviously wondering why their prank hadn't worked.  As soon as they took swigs of their pumpkin juice, their eyes bulged when they realised it had been spiked.  Within seconds, they were standing up at the table, and music started to waft through the doors of the Great Hall, catching the attention of the teachers and students.  Harry's team members all glanced up at the headmaster, and were pleased to see a look of anticipation in his eyes.  He had obviously figured out that a prank was coming, and was looking forward to what was about to happen.

Over at the Gryffindor table, the five with the spiked drinks were staring around the room in horror, before their clothes suddenly changed into very revealing dresses, and they started to dance the cancan.  The four boys were beat red as they performed a dance number worthy of the Moulin Rouge, before bounding up to the teachers' table and pulling them up to dance with them.  They were mortified by the suggestive moves they were pulling on their bemused professors, although Dumbledore seemed to be enjoying himself, dancing enthusiastically with Lily.  Professors McGonagall and Flitwick were protesting loudly, and Trelawney was telling Sewell that she had seen it coming all along.  By the time the dance came to an end the whole school was laughing loudly at the five embarrassed students, and Ginny was squealing in delight over the number of pictures she had been taking.  Harry had told her the night before about the prank war, and she had promised to document the whole thing to make a new album.

Harry 1 - Marauders 0

*~*~*

The next day, the Marauders were a little more cautious.  They sniffed their drinks before drinking them and got other students to test their food before they ate.  Breakfast passed uneventfully enough, but when they got to potions, Sev threw some choice ingredients into their cauldrons.  The potions looked the same as what they had been trying to make, but when they tested them, they found their concoctions had become mild truth potions.  They had the effect of making the five afflicted students spout out humiliating pieces of information, seemingly at random and without prompting.  The other students all found it funny, but the teachers weren't amused, and Professor Sewell wouldn't give them the antidote.  Gryffindor lost a lot of points that day from various teachers whose lessons were interrupted by such things as Sirius claiming he found Professor Sinistra highly attractive, James saying he was the one who once turned Dumbledore's beard pink and Lily claiming she had a painful boil in a rather private place.  By the end of the day, the five had locked themselves in Gryffindor Tower, too ashamed to leave.

Harry 2 - Marauders 0

*~*~*

The third day of the prank war saw the Marauders making a comeback.  During Herbology, Ron and Harry were attacked by a seemingly docile plant that had been enchanted to kiss the pair of them rather viciously.  Sev had met the same fate when he had the class later in the day, and all three came to dinner that evening with oddly shaped love bites all over their faces and arms, making the rest of the student body avoid them, thinking they had contracted something contagious.  Harry was livid.  He hated being caught unawares, knowing that in a battle it could cost him his life.  For the next day he planned something extra special.

Harry 2 - Marauders 1

*~*~*

The other students had realised by the fourth day what was going on.  They thought the whole thing was wonderful, as the two teams spent so much time pranking each other that they left the rest of the school alone.  Even Peeves, being part of Harry's team, wasn't causing the same mayhem as he usually did, much to the Bloody Baron's relief.  Dumbledore seemed to find the whole fiasco highly amusing, and many of the teachers were taking bets on who would win.  The Marauders had been firm favourites from the start, as everyone had been subjected to their pranks for over four years, and knew what they were capable of.  However, some of them were slowly changing their minds, especially when they saw the latest Harry's team came up with.

Most of the day went quietly, with Harry and Ron disabling all of the set up enchantments the Marauders had tried to trap them with.  They had decided to get their own back for the gruesome plants at dinner.  When everyone filed in that evening, there was a lot of tension.  Nothing had happened all day, so they were expecting dinner to be the time when the pranksters would strike.  Sure enough, half way through dessert the Marauders and Lily leapt onto their table dressed in frilly red lingerie and started to sing, taking a verse each and joining together in the chorus.  As the song started with James, they danced suggestively with each other.

“ I love myself
  I want you to love me
  When I'm feelin' down
  I want you above me
  I search myself
  I want you to find me
  I forget myself
  I want you to remind me.”

All five grouped together to sing the chorus.

“ I don't want anybody else
  When I think about you
  I touch myself
  I don't want anybody else
  Oh no, oh no, oh no.”

Remus was next in line, stepping in front of the other three and moving erotically, making some of the first years turn bright red.

“ You're the one who makes me happy honey
  You're the sun who makes me shine
  When you're around I'm always laughing
  I want to make you mine.”

Lily took the next part, dancing with Sirius.

“ I close my eyes
  And see you before me
  Think I would die
  If you were to ignore me
  A fool could see
  Just how much I adore you
  I get down on my knees
  I'd do anything for you.”

 “ I don't want anybody else
  When I think about you
  I touch myself
  I don't want anybody else
  Oh no, oh no, oh no.”

Peter took the next verse, pulling a second year onto the table and pulling them into an embrace.

“ I love myself
  I want you to love me
  When I'm feelin' down
  I want you above me
  I search myself
  I want you to find me
  I forget myself
  I want you to remind me.”

“ I don't want anybody else
  When I think about you
  I touch myself
  I don't want anybody else
  Oh no, oh no, oh no.”

Sirius was the last to sing, jumping off the table and running up to the teachers, before sitting in Minerva's lap and gyrating, causing the Transfiguration professor to turn bright red.

“ I want you
  I don't want anybody else
  And when I think about you
  I touch myself
  Ooh, oooh, oooooh, aaaaaah.”

“ I don't want anybody else
  When I think about you
  I touch myself
  I don't want anybody else
  Oh no, oh no, oh no.”

As the song ended and the five came back to their senses, they were still dressed in the revealing underwear, and made a hasty and mortified retreat to their dormitories.

Harry 3 - Marauders 1

*~*~*

Life continued much the same way for the next couple of weeks.  Prank after prank was played, Harry's team being the clear winners, although the Marauders did put up a good fight.  However, one evening during dinner, only three days before Halloween, Harry's meal was interrupted by Ginny.  She had been sitting at the Ravenclaw table, happily chatting with Gallatea about rather inane subjects, when she was suddenly hit with a vision.  As soon as it was over, she turned fearful eyes to the concerned ghost.  Sending Harry a mental nudge, she waited for him to establish a link.  Before he had time to ask what was going on, she sent a frantic message.

~Harry, call an Order meeting.  Voldemort's going to attack St Mungo's~

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