Chapter 1 - Holiday Blues

Harry huddled into the corner of the small cell and wrapped the rags he called a blanket around his too-thin frame. He didn't know how long he'd been there, and he didn't really care. The voices all blurred into each other as the Dementors sucked away his happy thoughts.

His worst nightmares were all that were left as scenes from his life flashed continuously before his eyes. Voldemort, Wormtail, Uncle Vernon… It was too much. The stream of images playing out in his mind was slowly driving him to distraction. Some of these images were more prominent than others, especially those of the Third Task and the events that followed.

*He was in the house again. The Riddle house. A fire crackled in the grate as a large snake warmed itself on the hearth. A high-backed chair stood near the fire, facing away from where he was standing. The top of a head could be seen above the chair back. It was pale and bald, looking like a skull. Harry suddenly heard a noise behind him, and tried to melt into the shadows as a large rat scurried past, even though he knew he couldn't be seen. He had had this sort of dream before and had never been seen. He watched closely as the rat made its way to the chair and with a small pop turned into a man. He was short and stocky, with thinning blond hair. Harry recognised him as Peter Pettigrew, otherwise known as Wormtail. The man lowered himself to the floor and kissed the robe hem of the creature occupying the chair.

“Well, your efforts must be doubled! This is unacceptable. I knew this task was too demanding for you, Wormtail. I should have had Lucius do it. He would have never come before me empty-handed. You know how I hate disappointments.”

Harry woke from his dream with his scar burning. He clapped his hand on his forehead but the pain didn't ease. It was the second time that week he'd seen the Dark Lord while he slept, and he still hadn't mentioned it to Dumbledore. Sirius had told him the previous year that if his scar was to hurt he was to owl Dumbledore immediately. But Harry didn't want to trouble him over nothing. The Headmaster had been under a lot of strain recently trying to convince Fudge that Voldemort had indeed regained his power, as well as setting up secret defences. He didn't need Harry owling him every five minutes because of a few nightmares.

But Harry wasn't convincing himself. He often dreamt of Voldemort, just without the scar pains. Most of these dreams were of the Third Task, but some included the Chamber of Secrets. He didn't want to mention them to his friends or Sirius, because he didn't want them to worry.

Even though he knew, deep down, that there was nothing he could have done, Harry still blamed himself for Cedric's death. At night, after waking from a nightmare, he would spend hours replaying the events in his head to see if there was anything he could have done, but each time he was left with the feeling that things were meant to turn out that way. But no amount of logic could take away the guilt. He would always carry that.

Although he was rarely asleep when his aunt's shrill voice called him in the morning, he was reluctant to go downstairs a minute sooner than he had to. He tried to avoid the Dursleys as much as possible in the summer, only leaving his room if he was given chores to do, or to use the bathroom. The rest of the time he spent in his room either trying to do homework in secret, or just lying on his bed mulling over the events of the Triwizard Tournament. He rarely even went downstairs to eat anymore, but the Dursleys barely noticed his absence. They were more than happy not to use the food on him, instead giving it to Harry's fat cousin Dudley. Not that Dudley complained. He had been on a diet for over a year. However, any weight he lost was celebrated with a trip to a hamburger restaurant, which defeated the object in the first place as after the meal he more often than not had put the weight back on.

Harry heaved himself up in his bed and threw the covers off. He couldn't bear to hear his aunt screeching at him more than necessary, so he dressed quickly and made his way to the kitchen. The Dursleys were already sitting at the table waiting for their breakfast. Dudley was childishly banging his cutlery on the table top to show his impatience. Harry quickly made his way to the cooker and prepared a cooked breakfast for Uncle Vernon and a plate of grapefruit for his aunt and cousin. He then tried to make his way quietly back to his room without making any breakfast for himself, but was stopped in the doorway by Uncle Vernon's gruff voice.

Harry stared back blankly for a moment before he realised that his uncle meant the Weasleys. Since he had started Hogwarts, Harry had spent some of the summer with his friend Ron's family. But this year was different. Dumbledore had told him he had to stay at the Dursleys' this year `for his own safety'. This made Harry even more depressed. The annual trip to the Weasleys gave him the chance to catch up on what was happening in the wizarding world, with which he had no contact when he was with the Dursleys. The Dursleys were Muggles, and despised anything to do with Harry's `abnormality'. This meant that Hedwig, Harry's owl, spent the summers locked in her cage to stop the neighbours from wondering why there was an owl flying in and out of the window. After a moment Harry snapped out of his reverie to answer his uncle, who by this time was turning a funny shade of purple.

That evening Harry was sent to his room at 7 o'clock without any dinner. Not that he noticed. He ate so rarely these days that his ribs were beginning to show. As soon as he got to his room Harry sat down to finish his homework. Normally he would spread his homework over the whole summer, but this year he would be finished within three weeks of term ending. He spent so much time alone in his room these days that he had nothing better to do. Homework gave him something to concentrate on. It took his mind off the Third Task and the guilt he felt ripping him apart from the inside.

By 11 Harry's last essay was finished. Putting his homework safely under the loose floorboard he had under his bed, Harry picked up his photograph album, the one with the pictures of his parents. Looking at their smiling faces usually made him feel better, but it only made him feel worse.

After three quarters of an hour locked in his own thoughts, Harry heard a soft tapping at his window. Moving curiously over to the glass, he noticed a number of owls sitting on his windowsill. Among them he could see Errol, Pig and a large tawny owl, which was most likely from Hogwarts. As he opened the window the owls glided towards his bed one by one. The Hogwarts owl dropped his letter and left immediately, while Pig buzzed around his room at top speed. The other owls sat there sedately, glancing now and again in the direction of Hedwig in her locked cage. Harry grabbed the letters and parcels from the owls, and realised that it was his birthday in a few minutes. He had completely forgotten about it.

Opening the Hogwarts letter first, Harry noticed his usual book list, as well as a list of the new prefects. He was pleased to see that Hermione was one of the new Gryffindor prefects. Not that he had been in any doubt that she would make prefect, with the consistent high grades she got. There was also a short letter and gift that had come with the Hogwarts owl. These were from Hagrid, who had spent the last few weeks with the giants. The next letter was from Sirius. He was currently tracking down some of Dumbledore's supporters and therefore couldn't write much as he was still running from the Ministry. With his letter Sirius had sent Harry a bag of Chocolate Frogs. Errol had brought a letter and book from Hermione. Errol must have been at her house after delivering a letter from Ron, as she didn't have an owl of her own. Harry finally ripped open the letter from Ron, with a mixed feeling of sadness and gratitude as he read what he had to say.

Happy Birthday! Hope you like the present; I thought it might come in useful after the Second Task. How are the Muggles treating you? I'm really sorry you can't come over this year, but Mum's been begging Dumbledore and he still says no. He won't even let you go to Diagon Alley. Do you want me to get your school books while I'm there next week? If you send me a list of all the things you need I'll get them for you.

Harry sighed. He knew Dumbledore wanted to keep him safe but he hadn't realised that he wouldn't even be allowed to go to Diagon Alley. But at least Ron said he would go for him. Harry turned to the present Ron had sent him. It was a new watch. His old watch had stopped when Harry had to swim in the lake for the Second Task. It was the perfect gift. Harry grabbed his last piece of parchment and wrote back to Ron, telling him the supplies he would need for the new term, and thanking him for the watch. He placed the letter in an envelope with the key to his Gringotts vault and sent it away with Pig. Errol, having recovered from the journey, quickly followed the small hyperactive owl out of the window. Once all of the owls had left Harry said goodnight to Hedwig and settled down in bed for another night of horrific dreams.


	Luna the Moon Monster's Fanfiction Archive \| home Chapter 1 - Holiday Blues \| Chapter 2 - The Train \| Chapter 3 - The Feast and Other Matters \| Chapter 4 - The Trial \| Chapter 5 - Azkaban and the Only Way Out \| Epilogue Chapter 1 - Holiday Blues Is this supposed to be part of the task? I dunno. Wands out, d'you reckon? Yeah. Kill the spare Avada Kedavra! Lily, run, it's Him! Run, I'll hold him off- No, James, I can't leave you here- Run! Now! Harry huddled into the corner of the small cell and wrapped the rags he called a blanket around his too-thin frame. He didn't know how long he'd been there, and he didn't really care. The voices all blurred into each other as the Dementors sucked away his happy thoughts. Please, not Harry, anything- Stand aside, silly girl- No, please, take me instead-have mercy- Make the breakfast, Boy, or I'll give you a hiding His worst nightmares were all that were left as scenes from his life flashed continuously before his eyes. Voldemort, Wormtail, Uncle Vernon… It was too much. The stream of images playing out in his mind was slowly driving him to distraction. Some of these images were more prominent than others, especially those of the Third Task and the events that followed. Kill the spare Avada Kedavra I, Cornelius Fudge, Minister for Magic, hereby find the defendant Harry Potter guilty of the murder of Cedric Diggory ~~~~~~~ *Three Months Earlier* He was in the house again. The Riddle house. A fire crackled in the grate as a large snake warmed itself on the hearth. A high-backed chair stood near the fire, facing away from where he was standing. The top of a head could be seen above the chair back. It was pale and bald, looking like a skull. Harry suddenly heard a noise behind him, and tried to melt into the shadows as a large rat scurried past, even though he knew he couldn't be seen. He had had this sort of dream before and had never been seen. He watched closely as the rat made its way to the chair and with a small pop turned into a man. He was short and stocky, with thinning blond hair. Harry recognised him as Peter Pettigrew, otherwise known as Wormtail. The man lowered himself to the floor and kissed the robe hem of the creature occupying the chair. “What news of the Potter boy, Wormtail?”* “Master, we have been unable to pinpoint his location. Dumbledore must have made it Unplottable. Despite our best efforts we still have no idea where he could be…” “Well, your efforts must be doubled! This is unacceptable. I knew this task was too demanding for you, Wormtail. I should have had Lucius do it. He would have never come before me empty-handed. You know how I hate disappointments.” “I'm sorry, Master.” “Sorry isn't good enough, Wormtail. CRUCIO!”* Harry woke from his dream with his scar burning. He clapped his hand on his forehead but the pain didn't ease. It was the second time that week he'd seen the Dark Lord while he slept, and he still hadn't mentioned it to Dumbledore. Sirius had told him the previous year that if his scar was to hurt he was to owl Dumbledore immediately. But Harry didn't want to trouble him over nothing. The Headmaster had been under a lot of strain recently trying to convince Fudge that Voldemort had indeed regained his power, as well as setting up secret defences. He didn't need Harry owling him every five minutes because of a few nightmares. They're just dreams, Harry thought as he rubbed his stinging scar, just because they have Voldemort in them doesn't mean they mean anything. But Harry wasn't convincing himself. He often dreamt of Voldemort, just without the scar pains. Most of these dreams were of the Third Task, but some included the Chamber of Secrets. He didn't want to mention them to his friends or Sirius, because he didn't want them to worry. It's just guilt, they'll go away in time. Even though he knew, deep down, that there was nothing he could have done, Harry still blamed himself for Cedric's death. At night, after waking from a nightmare, he would spend hours replaying the events in his head to see if there was anything he could have done, but each time he was left with the feeling that things were meant to turn out that way. But no amount of logic could take away the guilt. He would always carry that. Eventually, having decided not to trouble Dumbledore, he turned over and fell into a deep dreamless sleep, a slight headache all that remained of the dream. ~~* “ Harry, are you up yet? The breakfast needs making.” Although he was rarely asleep when his aunt's shrill voice called him in the morning, he was reluctant to go downstairs a minute sooner than he had to. He tried to avoid the Dursleys as much as possible in the summer, only leaving his room if he was given chores to do, or to use the bathroom. The rest of the time he spent in his room either trying to do homework in secret, or just lying on his bed mulling over the events of the Triwizard Tournament. He rarely even went downstairs to eat anymore, but the Dursleys barely noticed his absence. They were more than happy not to use the food on him, instead giving it to Harry's fat cousin Dudley. Not that Dudley complained. He had been on a diet for over a year. However, any weight he lost was celebrated with a trip to a hamburger restaurant, which defeated the object in the first place as after the meal he more often than not had put the weight back on. Harry heaved himself up in his bed and threw the covers off. He couldn't bear to hear his aunt screeching at him more than necessary, so he dressed quickly and made his way to the kitchen. The Dursleys were already sitting at the table waiting for their breakfast. Dudley was childishly banging his cutlery on the table top to show his impatience. Harry quickly made his way to the cooker and prepared a cooked breakfast for Uncle Vernon and a plate of grapefruit for his aunt and cousin. He then tried to make his way quietly back to his room without making any breakfast for himself, but was stopped in the doorway by Uncle Vernon's gruff voice. “ And just where do you think you're going?” “ My room, Uncle Vernon.” “ No you're not. Your aunt and I have distinguished guests coming tonight, and I want this house spotless. Do you understand?” With a sigh Harry nodded his head and made to leave again, but his uncle hadn't finished with him. “ And make sure you're out of sight tonight. Last time we had important guests you ruined the dessert. Oh, and another thing, are those freaks going to be picking you up soon?” Harry stared back blankly for a moment before he realised that his uncle meant the Weasleys. Since he had started Hogwarts, Harry had spent some of the summer with his friend Ron's family. But this year was different. Dumbledore had told him he had to stay at the Dursleys' this year `for his own safety'. This made Harry even more depressed. The annual trip to the Weasleys gave him the chance to catch up on what was happening in the wizarding world, with which he had no contact when he was with the Dursleys. The Dursleys were Muggles, and despised anything to do with Harry's `abnormality'. This meant that Hedwig, Harry's owl, spent the summers locked in her cage to stop the neighbours from wondering why there was an owl flying in and out of the window. After a moment Harry snapped out of his reverie to answer his uncle, who by this time was turning a funny shade of purple. “ I won't be going this year, Uncle Vernon.” “ WHAT! You mean we have to put up with you for the whole summer? Have the freaks finally realised that you're not worth bothering with, or something?” “ No, Uncle. My headmaster told me I had to stay here for my own protection.” At this Vernon gave Harry a wary look before grunting at him to start the cleaning and turning back to his newspaper. Harry quietly obliged, moving to start cleaning the living room. ~~* That evening Harry was sent to his room at 7 o'clock without any dinner. Not that he noticed. He ate so rarely these days that his ribs were beginning to show. As soon as he got to his room Harry sat down to finish his homework. Normally he would spread his homework over the whole summer, but this year he would be finished within three weeks of term ending. He spent so much time alone in his room these days that he had nothing better to do. Homework gave him something to concentrate on. It took his mind off the Third Task and the guilt he felt ripping him apart from the inside. By 11 Harry's last essay was finished. Putting his homework safely under the loose floorboard he had under his bed, Harry picked up his photograph album, the one with the pictures of his parents. Looking at their smiling faces usually made him feel better, but it only made him feel worse. More people who died because of me, he thought, as he gazed at a picture of his parents at Hogwarts. After three quarters of an hour locked in his own thoughts, Harry heard a soft tapping at his window. Moving curiously over to the glass, he noticed a number of owls sitting on his windowsill. Among them he could see Errol, Pig and a large tawny owl, which was most likely from Hogwarts. As he opened the window the owls glided towards his bed one by one. The Hogwarts owl dropped his letter and left immediately, while Pig buzzed around his room at top speed. The other owls sat there sedately, glancing now and again in the direction of Hedwig in her locked cage. Harry grabbed the letters and parcels from the owls, and realised that it was his birthday in a few minutes. He had completely forgotten about it. Opening the Hogwarts letter first, Harry noticed his usual book list, as well as a list of the new prefects. He was pleased to see that Hermione was one of the new Gryffindor prefects. Not that he had been in any doubt that she would make prefect, with the consistent high grades she got. There was also a short letter and gift that had come with the Hogwarts owl. These were from Hagrid, who had spent the last few weeks with the giants. The next letter was from Sirius. He was currently tracking down some of Dumbledore's supporters and therefore couldn't write much as he was still running from the Ministry. With his letter Sirius had sent Harry a bag of Chocolate Frogs. Errol had brought a letter and book from Hermione. Errol must have been at her house after delivering a letter from Ron, as she didn't have an owl of her own. Harry finally ripped open the letter from Ron, with a mixed feeling of sadness and gratitude as he read what he had to say. Harry, Happy Birthday! Hope you like the present; I thought it might come in useful after the Second Task. How are the Muggles treating you? I'm really sorry you can't come over this year, but Mum's been begging Dumbledore and he still says no. He won't even let you go to Diagon Alley. Do you want me to get your school books while I'm there next week? If you send me a list of all the things you need I'll get them for you. See you on September 1st, and don't let the Muggles get you down! Ron Harry sighed. He knew Dumbledore wanted to keep him safe but he hadn't realised that he wouldn't even be allowed to go to Diagon Alley. But at least Ron said he would go for him. Harry turned to the present Ron had sent him. It was a new watch. His old watch had stopped when Harry had to swim in the lake for the Second Task. It was the perfect gift. Harry grabbed his last piece of parchment and wrote back to Ron, telling him the supplies he would need for the new term, and thanking him for the watch. He placed the letter in an envelope with the key to his Gringotts vault and sent it away with Pig. Errol, having recovered from the journey, quickly followed the small hyperactive owl out of the window. Once all of the owls had left Harry said goodnight to Hedwig and settled down in bed for another night of horrific dreams. Next Chapter